Handle It
by ThrowDownTheKey
Summary: When Collins leaves for a business trip, Angel realizes something. Something big. Mountains of angst, drama, and bits of fluff.


**Hey, all you bohemians! I've missed you! Sorry for the lack of posting, I'm on Vacation in Florida. I hope you like this!**

Angel shivered. She was out on the fire escape of her and Collins' apartment, anxiously awaiting her lover's arrival. Collins had been gone for two, long weeks. NYU forced him to go to a philosophy convention in Pennsylvania, and though he didn't want to leave Angel, the couple could use the overtime money.

Collins ran up the subway stairs. Over the past two weeks, he had missed Angel like hell. He practically flew down the streets, making his way to their apartment. He looked up and smiled, he could see Angel waiting for him on the fire escape. Then she coughed into her elbow, filling Collins with sudden worry. _What if she got sick when I was gone? I should have been here with her, considering how little time we might have left together. Crap. I never should have left her. _Angel was out of drag, which worried Collins even more. It's not that he cared what she wore, Collins thought she looked beautiful in everything. It was just… un-Angel like not to dress up for Collins after they'd been apart for so long.

"Angel!" Collins shouted up.

Angel looked down, her face brightening at the mere sight of the anarchist. "Collins!" she shouted down. Collins than ran up the stairs as fast as he could, not even feeling the bitter cold wind that whipped around him. The only word in his mind was A-N-G-E-L.

And she was there waiting for him at the top of the stairway. He swooped her into his arms in one, smooth motion. Collins pressed his lips against the drag queen's, her arms wrapping around his neck. "I've missed you so much," Angel said against his lips.

"If I wasn't dirt broke, I'd bet 100 dollars I missed you more," he replied, pulling her into another kiss.

Then Collins felt a hand on his back, a hand that most definitely didn't belong to Angel. "Collins, man!" someone said.

"Roger!" Mimi scolded, coming up the stairs. "I can't believe you. Just let them have their romantic moment, why don't ya?"

Angel smiled, pulling away from Collins. Roger slapped Collins' back again, "Good to have you back. And glad to have Angel off our couch," he said, earning him another firm scolding from Mimi. "Not that we mind her, of course," he saved.

"You've been sleeping on their couch?" Collins questioned Angel.

Angel blushed, "Mmmhm," was all she said, hugging tightly onto Collins' arm.

Mimi took one look at Collins and could tell he wanted to talk to Angel…alone. "C'mon Roger," she said brightly. "I'm hungry."

Roger smiled, "Then I guess I'm hungry, too. You guys want to join us for lunch?" he asked.

Collins waved him away playfully. "I've got my slice of Angelcake, what else could I need?" Angel blushed.

Once Roger and Mimi had left, Collins and Angel went back into their apartment. "Do you want some tea, or beer?" Angel asked.

"I just need you," Collins smiled, sitting down on the green couch, and then pulling Angel onto his lap. "I love you," he said.

"I love you," Angel said back, nuzzling her nose against his.

"Are you feeling okay?" Collins asked.

"Oh baby, you look so concerned," Angel said, cupping his cheeks. "Come here." Then she brought his lips up to her's and kissed him passionately. Pulling away, she smiled, "I really, really missed that."

Collins smiled, "Me too. But you didn't answer my question. Angel, I'm worried about you." The drag queen looked away, almost nervously. "Ang, did you dress in drag at all these past two weeks?"

"Yes," she said, avoiding his eyes.

"Angel Dumott Shunard, I can see right through you."

"I… I didn't. At all. And I slept over at Mimi's because… because I couldn't handle it alone," she said shakily.

Collins' heart broke. "Handle what, Angel?"

Angel's mood changed, her bashfulness turning to resentment. "I couldn't handle it!" she almost shouted, her voice cracking as tears started to slip from her eyes. "I couldn't handle the fact that one of us is going to die before the other! That you might leave me alone! Or that I might go first, and I'd leave you here. If you go, Collins, I'd have to feel that sickening, heart-wrenching feeling that I felt every damn morning! Waking up, without you next to me," Angel cried, struggling to keep it together.

"….Angel," was all Collins could say. He wrapped his arms around her, the collar of his shirt soaking up her tears. "Listen to me…" he pulled her head up gently, and looked her in the eye. "Maybe you're right, and maybe one of us will go first," he wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "But at least we're together now. And we have time, Angel. I just know we have time. And I know it's going to be a long time before either one of us dies." His words comforted her, temporarily. Because deep down, both of them knew that they, mostly Angel, wouldn't get as much time as they deserved. But Collins was going to do whatever it took to delay that end for as long as he could.

**review please, it always brightens my day.**


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